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Monday, August 26th, 2002

Time:8:34 pm.
Mood: satisfied.
okay. this is gonna be weird but. this is an end to an era. this journal? it's finished. i feel like i'm moving onto bigger and better things.. and a new journal. my new journal is unaplogetic. go ahead and add me there, but sin0fstigmata is finished. done. finitio. bye bye to an old me.
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Thursday, August 22nd, 2002

Time:5:52 pm.
Mood: blah.
hrm. i just got dumped.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, August 16th, 2002

Subject:down here in the atmosphere, garbage and city lights.
Time:3:39 pm.
Mood: calm.
this song is perfect for me. i think honestly, its like my song. i dont know. but it makes me feel, at peace with everything, which is really hard to find, i've been through so many weird emotions this summer, that its hard to settle through them all and i cant pick them apart, and then i have this angry buzzing in my mind.

i honestly dont even know what im feeling anymore. im just putting away the bad emotions, and trying to be happy and to just deal. im going to get out of this funk, or at least try really really hard. because i won't be able o take myself as this angry black and white grey monotone person, it just wont work. i want to be something i can actually not resent, or regret that i didnt have fun in my life, life is short, i want to make the most out of it. i have to learn how to stop over-analyzing, and to actually put my mind to something. i want to be able to take care of myself, and not fall apart. just do it. you know? its going to be hard but i'll teach myself. im not going to just let myself fall into this depression, and be sad and hurt, compelled to just breathe because my body does it involuntarily.

" gonna' save your tired soul, gonna' save our lives. turn on the radio to find you on satellite. im waiting for the sky to fall, i'm waiting for a sign. and all we are, is all so far. you're falling back to me- the star that i can't see. i know you're out there, somewhere out there. you're falling out of reach, defying gravity, i know you're out there, somewhere out there. "
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Time:3:15 pm.
OH, and that reminds me. anyone who knows who the argument is. i met them, and also i'm really close to the lead singer's girlfriend. how weird is that?
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Time:3:13 pm.
lookie cookie. i'm back. for good this time. =D
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Sunday, July 21st, 2002

Time:12:08 am.
<3 you candice
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Time:12:00 am.
Mood: ecstatic.
well. im going back in about 7 hours, so yayness there. and such. im excited. lol, i saw barry today when i was out shopping for stuff, it was really funny. lmao he looked so cute shopping for clothes. wonder if hes gay. aw. hes like 22, though. :D from britain. nifty accent. must go sleep. ;] bye bye. oh -- we have phone priviledges. mail me your #'s.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, July 19th, 2002

Subject:hm..
Time:10:02 pm.
Mood: sad.
this song makes me sad,..
as you can see im getting better at typing, someone congradulate me?
congratulate?
yeah.


i feel empty. i felt like that at camp. there's so much to say, and im afraid to let it all out.
--this is my summer vacation. emptyness, and vague reality.

but. john mayers' cd is dandy. and a lot of other cds i stole from my friends for the two days im home. i wish i was back there. theres too much to do, so i never get time to think. its got to be the best thing in the world.


west virginia has sexy doctors. lol. . . i suggest breaking your thumb there.

i wanna' get out of this place.
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Time:2:34 pm.
omg h ey gu ys its been forever i think since ive been h ere ive only got two days. sorry for not writing an yone i broke my thumb and have a cast. thus the retarded t ypos
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Saturday, June 22nd, 2002

Subject:- Tear - Last night here.
Time:10:43 am.
Mood: excited.
Mel and lizz are coming over today, and actually mel is here, bugging the shiznit out of me, but I thought I would do one last update, and put up my hiatus layout, and then I'll be gone until like August, or mid-July maybe, not sure. :/ Miss you guys, ! <3

Email Faithwhitehead@aol.com if you want my address and she'll screen at disgression.
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Friday, June 21st, 2002

Subject:God I have a headache.
Time:9:56 pm.
Mood: sore.
So.. I'm taking a shower, right? And then all of a sudden, I stand up from the shave-age of the legs, and I start falling, so like any sane person, I grab the five pound marble soap dish handle thing, and it falls, completely, onto my head. I was knocked out for a couple minutes, I think. All I know is when I woke up, I was cold, naked and alone. :/ As the hot water had run out. I haven't got any glue, so I can't fix it yet. Lol, I hope my grandmother doesn't find out, she'll kill me.
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Wednesday, June 19th, 2002

Time:11:02 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
oh, and may i remind you guys.

half the girls on my buddy list starving yourselves thinking you're going to get thin that way - listen, you won't.

not eating = sends body into starvation mode. your metabolism slows down. you might lose like, ten pounds at first, and then it gets harder and harder to lose it. it's really stupid, because as soon as you crack and have that one cookie, it's going to be metabolized really slowly, and you'll just gain the weight back if you stay on the same grounds with eating again + 5 pounds more.

if you're trying to lose weight, don't stop eating, just eat reasonably, and excercise, it's really the only way to do it. you can't be lazy and then think you'll lose weight by just not eating.
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Subject:will i get a lot of replies if i write "i hate fake anorexics" in the subject here?
Time:11:53 am.
Mood: apathetic.
yay pittsburgh. apparently everyone's boyfriends live there, except mine. oh yeah, i dont have one. lol, but yay for pittsburgh.

oh, and may i remind you guys.

half the girls on my buddy list starving yourselves thinking you're going to get thin that way - listen, you won't.

not eating = sends body into starvation mode. your metabolism slows down. you might lose like, ten pounds at first, and then it gets harder and harder to lose it. it's really stupid, because as soon as you crack and have that one cookie, it's going to be metabolized really slowly, and you'll just gain the weight back if you stay on the same grounds with eating again + 5 pounds more.

if you're trying to lose weight, don't stop eating, just eat reasonably, and excercise, it's really the only way to do it. you can't be lazy and then think you'll lose weight by just not eating.
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Sunday, June 16th, 2002

Time:2:24 pm.
LOL. i was up so late last night i saw the sun rise. it was uh, nice? hahaha. furc <3 delirium now. =D
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Time:1:11 am.
i only have one more week. until west virgina.
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Saturday, June 15th, 2002

Subject:<33 Candice
Time:10:42 pm.
Mood: loved.
Candice is beautiful. =]

Candice is wonderful.

Candice is a sexy bitch.

Candice is my girlfriend.

I love Candice.


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Subject:I forgot I downloaded this song. I have too many songs.
Time:7:02 pm.
Mood: energetic.
Anyways.. Uh, I've decided I want to be a museum curator. And work at a museum, someplace. And stuff. because.. that'd be lots of fun. but i doubt i'd ever make it. :p BUT I WILL be one. ! >-< yay museums. i love museums. DONT YOU LOVE YOUR MUSEUM?! - hugs hers. -
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Friday, June 14th, 2002

Subject:i'd pray to god if there was heaven, but heaven seems so very far from here.
Time:4:30 pm.
Mood: mellow.
Okay, so I haven't really felt the need to write recently, I've been out alot, swimming in our pool downstairs, thinking, drawing. I don't know. It just didn't seem necessary for me to have to write to everyone. Yeah.. Anyways.

I don't know, it's weird. with me, I just. I can't figure myself out lately. I don't even know what I'm thinking, feeling, or doing half the time.

Whether you win or you lose isn't going to change a single thing .

Everything just seems really confusing now a days. My grandmother's unceasing yells aren't even sinking in half the time. Even though I do have a reason to be mad at her. Her and her fucking infiltrations of my mind. Ripping out pages from my sketch book. It makes me horrifyingly angry. But.. Yeah.

Tonight I'm going out with friends for dinner and a movie. We'll see Borne Identity, just to remark about how lovely Matt Damon is. -Nod.- Should be fun, I guess. Yeah, it will be. bringing the video camera to capture the funnier moments. Not of the movie, because that'd be bootlegging. Which is wrong.

Soon I'll be going away to that program. To teach little kids how to horseback ride. Up at that camp thing, I should saydown.. down in West Virginia until August 16th.

Speaking of that. Anyone want me to write them an actual snail mail letter? Comment. And I'll email you with my address there, and get yours back. - Nods. - Not that anyone really wants one. :P


Okay, going to go. Life is short.


I miss my mom.
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Wednesday, June 12th, 2002

Subject:ugh..
Time:10:25 am.
Mood: sick.
i swear im getting sick.
or maybe i already am.
i feel so nasty.
and hot.
and.
just.
bad.
and.
headacheness.


robin williams <3



candice <3



thats about it. im going to go die in the corner.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, June 11th, 2002

Time:6:46 pm.
Mood: depressed.
ew im in such a shitty mood.


blah.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for raw*.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Website (p0pularity*).
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.